Not what I Wanted to Write About
Standing by one of the most beautiful waterfalls in northern Michigan made me sad. It's not because I was disappointed by it's beauty, or because I knew that moment wouldn't last forever. No, my sadness was brought on by the guilty feeling of not being able to write about it. And this wasn't even the first time I was struck with that sort of feeling, it happened previously over that same weekend, as well as throughout my daily life. Yet again, I was guilty of not being creative.
I am well acquainted with many other writers and artists, who take their craft just as seriously as I do, and for each of us, our creative process is different. For instance, I have fellow writing friends that only write when they're inspired to, milking that inspiration, and producing thousands of words at a time. These writers get a feeling, have an awesome idea, and put pen to paper, it doesn't bother them that it's been two weeks since the last time they wrote last. Somehow, these writers can just jump right back into their story, and kill it (in the best way possible). I like to consider these people naturally talented writers, with skills I've always been a little jealous of.
My process is totally different, almost business like. For instance, I have a set number of words that I like to hit after each session, directing me to a specific word count by the end of each week. My writing is scheduled, on time, daily. If I go more than a day or so without writing, I start to feel guilty, like I have a dream that I'm not working hard enough to achieve, but say I want. It also doesn't help the fact that if I go more than a few days, and then attempt to jump back into my novel, the writing is sloppy, and uninspired, causing me to stare at the computer screen for at least an hour, just to write maybe one decent paragraph of plot/dialogue.
Why am I telling you this? Because I know that I'm not the only one who feels this way about their own work.
Everyone has a different way of going about things, and it's important to play to your own strengths. If you're more of a feeler, someone who writes when they have inspiration to do so, then that's great! If you're more of a scheduled person like me, who needs a little more structure, then that's beautiful too, but for an entirely different reason. Never feel like you HAVE to create today. It's one thing if art is your way of paying the bills, then there is a necessity to make something. And even then, if the only reason you are creating something is simply to make ends meet, eventually, the thing you love to do will turn into your job, rather than your passion. It has taken me a long while, but I am slowly understanding that making something from scratch is not easy, nor comparable to what someone else is making. This November will mark the two years since I typed my first word of Lost Shadows. Meanwhile, I know another writer who has put out two novels, and a short story collection in the same amount of time. The process for us is totally different. Some musicians, and artists are world famous with a million album sales by the time they are twenty. For others, they could work their entire life towards one goal, only to finally have a decent selling book by their fifties.
My point is that with art, there is no average, and there is no normal. Make things because you want to make them, and understand that just because you are not creating today, doesn't mean you are uncreative. And before you start a new project, I'll let you in on a little secret that I had to learn the hard way: "Never compare your behind the scenes, with someone else's finished work." (not my quote, I'm not sure who said it.) I can guarantee, if you remember that before you start a project, and during, then creating what you want will be a much easier process, and a lot less guilt driven. It'll get there, just give it time, and patience.
